26. Lori Jean Finnila on Healing From Physical Abuse
Healing From Physical Abuse by Creating Music
with Lori Jean Finnila
Imagine having seizures as a child from abuse at a young age, then being abused by the father of your child and suffering very physical injuries. The wonderful woman we interview today opens up and shares the hard truth of the abuse in her life.
Passionately driven by an intense love for her child, she turns to other women’s horrifying stories of survival that end with great strength and inspiration! She finds music and falls in love with creating it and singing, bringing herself closer to healing.
This interview is an incredible story of healing, single parenting, and the courageous decision to go back to school. She learns to screen-write, becomes a singer and songwriter, and all while healing her brain injury and the scars of abuse that can only fade over time, becoming a memory far less than the joy that now fills its place.
***********Trigger Warning************ This interview may contain content that could be disturbing to some viewers, viewers discretion is advised.
Physical Abuse and the Fight For Life
When Lori was young she suffered abuse that caused her to have seizures. She was very fragile.
Fast forward to her young adult years, and she lost her unborn daughter from Teen DV. Someone took her down with medication and she became involved with a man who had children.
Lori later had a son and grew into writing and created a radio show. She was running from abuse with a child.
Unfortunately, she suffered permanent neurological damage from trauma to her head as well as had her backbone separated from her muscle with about 2 1/2 feet of nerve damage down the side of her backbone.
She was fighting for her life, with her foot halfway in the door, halfway out. This was a huge turning point for her.
Healing Without The Hospital
Lori found her reality to be that she had to take her life into her own hands. She tried to report the crimes, with no help coming from doing so. She was trying to keep the drugs away from her food, was threatened, and found her home broken into. She lived in fear of losing her son and took as much as she could for as long as she could.
She tried to reach out with well-thought-out plans. Her plans never worked and she learned not to reach out. She dealt with the whole medical thing herself, no hospitals.
She went to a shelter for a while and ended up completely alone. There was no counseling or a place for her. She left her son with a friend and ended up sleeping up on floors next to women that were traumatized on the street.
She knew she had to get back to her son, and when she made it, she would wake up screaming in pain. She knew she was losing the feeling to her body, and she would physically hit her body to stay present.
This went on for months and she was dying. She reached out to a coaching program and learned meditation. She listened to it in her ears non-stop. She felt she was the only one that could bring herself back, and she explained to her son she may not make it.
The Path to Healing
Lori found healing through hypnosis. She also did meditation, affirmation, took herbs such as ginseng, natural vitamins, and found a love for music.
Music makes Lori light up with passion. Her son persuaded her to go back to school and she chose music. She started connecting and the music reached her brain. This path took her on a journey that helped her find self-love, belief, and creativity.
She ended up taking off and writing her first album, shortly after watching a play that really captured her interest. She was taken back and learned a whole new way to express herself artistically.
Being a Mom can make healing extra challenging. I asked Lori for some advice for future Moms that will help them navigate healing and caring for their children.
Lori always put her child first and tells us that she would jump in front of a bus for him. (Perhaps, she tells us she is not the best to give advice here!)
She balanced keeping herself alive to be present for her son, with trying to heal and get better. Lori ended up running with her child and put his safety above her own recovery. Social Services knew she was injured and were watching her. This evoked a dance of healing and keeping her son from them. Her fear was if they took them, he would end up in a terrible situation and she would not have been able to help them.
I love that she took the initiative to try so many ways of healing for her son. She could have slept and remained on disability her entire life, yet she chose to do everything in her power to get out of the situation and create a life of healing, love her son, and followed her passion.
Lori is working towards her degree and has recorded music that is now on Apple. Listen to the interview to hear all the details of how she made it happen.
Thanks for reading this inspiring interview. Feel free to share this with someone you know that needs a little inspiration.